I like to take photos of things. Mostly peoples. Mostly pretty peoples, if I'm honest. But sometimes toys, or dogs, or maybe a tree. Y'know, interesting stuff.
I shoot a few burlesque shows, but that's just to kill time between photoshoots with models, where I can control the light and the pose and the magic.
My photos will have the tag "my photo". Otherwise, it's stolen from the vast wilderness that is the internet. I usually source pics from Model Mayhem, Flickr or We <3 it.
You wanna look me up elsewhere?
Like, I’m good at Google. I am. I know how to search for terms that will provide a small section of results. That’s what I want, that’s what I aim for. I don’t want to wade through 16 thousand irrelevant or “almost what you searched for” results, I just want what I’ve actually searched for.
I want to see what sort of Mecha tattoos have been done…is it humanly possible to tattoo a mecha suitably, or is it just one of those things that simply too complex for anyone to do satisfactorily?
So, I google image for MECHA TATTOO.
Google is all “Did you mean MECH TATTOO?”
No, Google, I didn’t.
“Oh, well, I’m just going to show you MECH TATTOO stuff anyway….hey, you like this BIO MECH TATTOO that I found?”
Google, just…..just show me what I actually searched for please
“Hey, I found a company called MECCA TATTOO….like, are you stupid? Did you spell your search wrong? I’m not even gonna point out to you that you’ve spelt it wrongly, I’m just going to include it in your results.”
If I search for ROBOT TATTOO all I get is Western style robots. That’s not what I’m looking for. I am looking for….MECHA. TATTOO. TATTOOS OF MECHA. MECHA ROBOT TATTOOS
“Oh, MECHA ROBOT TATTOOS? How about some pictures from random anime? I know none of these pics have mecha in them, but, y’know…it’s anime…there’s bound to be a mecha along any minute, ammirite?”
So. In summary. Google thinks it’s being smart. But it’s being stupid. BRING BACK ALTA VISTA, I say!
I’m sure you guys care, but since I put the Frankie Stein in her place in my toy cupboard, I decided it would be an excuse for me to snap a few quick photos.
So, here’s the Elevator Pitch :
Monster Rancher with robots!
So, in more detail, imagine if you will:
The world is at war, with lets say big fuckoff aliens. Like, Spider Crabs from Tekkaman or Starship Troopers. In order to win the war, Earth turns to cloning an army of expendable, highly specialised warriors, trained to fight in large scale mecha suits.
You then have to train them, Princess Maker / IdolM@ster style, ensuring that they have a balance of skills to be prepared for every eventuality on the battlefield, where any given day is broken up into 3 parts: Morning, Afternoon and Evening. The activities chosen affect the skills learned ( e.g. Weapons training to increase fighting skills, General Knowledge to increase intelligence, Resting to reduce pilot’s stress levels etc etc )
Along the way, you will also have to research MECHA PARTS and WEAPONS, similar to the research options in X-COM. Mecha can be constructed and upgraded a la Chromehounds.
Much like IdolM@ster, there are rival clone manufacturers, all vying for the Grand Prize of being the research lab chosen by the Government to supply the entire clone army for the Earth ( aka swimming in money ). To prove your worth, there will be regular tournaments, which will switch to a 3rd person turn based strategy. Basically Front Mission 3.
All the training of the pilot and the mecha research comes together here, providing the stats; the move speed of the mech, the weapons available, the accuracy of the pilot, luck, hit points.
Winning these tournaments move you one step closer to THE BIG BAD of the alien race, devoting the entire final third of the game to a campaign of turn based skirmishes pushing the enemies away, before taking the fight to their home world. During this time, performance in battles will determine the skill increases. Research will continue in the background as normal.
Alternatively, if any Games Developer happens upon this, and wants to steal the idea and not give me credit or compensation GO AHEAD! I WILL BUY THE SHIT OUT OF YOUR GAME AND ALL THE COSTUME DLC YOU PUMP OUT!
I’m beginning to think that I want a
OZ-13MS Gundam Epyon
tattoo, but with the mecha posing like a pinup.
Mummy and baby AT-AT. I like to imagine they are off down to Farmfoods, to buy a box of Fab lollies. Maybe even a can of Vimto. (Taken with picplz.)
I remember buying the Heavy Gear books purely because I fell in love with the illustrations on the cover.
I mean, girls could totally wear this.
We’d went into Mothercare the other day, ( I say other day, but it musta been Sunday last ) and it seems they have a range of clothes with mother fucking cuddly mecha on them! Look at this guy!
They have it listed under “BOYS” but, I reject your stereotypical gender roles, Mothercare. If I have a girl, and don’t dress her in robot clothes, how else is she going to grow up to be Kaylee from Firefly?
I had the chance, once, to buy Steel Battalion, plus the add on pack, including the full joystick rig, for about £80. It was right at the time I was poorest, like, I genuinely didn’t have a single penny to my name. I also didn’t have an xbox at that time. ¬_¬
I wish I’d bought it. I’ve certainly never seen it as low as £80 anywhere ever again.
I will buy it. One day, I will own Steel Battalion, of that we can be sure.
one day…. :(