Does anyone have any experience with PRINTED PORTFOLIOS ?

Long story short, I’m getting things into gear about “taking my photography further” and so I’m going to go around local photo studios in Ayr to see if they want to take me on, even as an assistant / tea maker.

I have a portfolio mostly printed up. But I don’t know if it’s any use. I’ve never studied photography at college/uni and I think they have a folio prep segment to the course? Well, I know nothing of it. So, do any of you guys?

If I send photos / describe really well / make a gif of an interpretive dance about how I feel about the portfolio, would anyone be able to say with any certainty that it’s any good, or just useless?

And it was terrible. Right to the end. Right to the last chapter. Right to the last sentence. Everything about it was just bad.

So. Help me cleanse my pallet. Recommend me something good to read?

This is a fairly comprehensive list of everything I’ve ever read.

Turns out I’ve read less than 60 books. That’s like one book every 6 months of my life. That’s not a good ratio. Fill my head with more stories, please?

What’s your favourite book? Send me the .MOBI file of it, and it’ll get bumped above any other recommendation! lol 

So, what’s the best way to send about 80 high resolution photos to someone?

Like, uploading to a Facebook gallery is a no-go because they recompress and resize and make photos look like ass. Hairy, spot covered, greasy, shit stained ass.

 Given the file size ( about 200mb ) email isn’t idea.

I don’t know the person’s house address, and anyway, it’s 2012. I’m not going to burn a cd, that was so 2000&late or whatever the Black Eye Peas were going on about. Point is, it’s the future now, I’m not burning it to disk.

Everything seems to need ze client to sign up for an account, which I don’t want to force them to do. Dropbox needs a signup before you can share folders. 4shared needs a signup before you can download.

There is surely a simple solution to this? Some super easy way to transfer files, privately ( i.e. not a torrent ) that is user friendly for anyone to use, and doesn’t require signing up.

Surely? 

And she doesn’t want anything.

I’ve tried out right asking, I’ve tried getting her to make a Wishlistr, I’ve tried subtly inquiring to find out if there is anything she wants but doesn’t realise…but to no joy.

I don’t know what to get for her.

And I can’t *do* things, like I would in previous years. Like, we can’t really go for a meal, just the two of us, because Sophie would need watched and would need breastfed ever 2 hours or so.

I’m not gonna give her coupons for her to redeem to have me take Soph off her hands sometimes, because, well, I do that anyway.

She doesn’t wear jewellery at the minute because it might scratch Soph.

Flowers die.

This is tough. It’s never been this difficult before. And soon, her sisters and mum are gonna start asking me what she wants, and I’m not gonna have any answers.

So……….if anyone has an ideas…even just half an idea that I can work on and finish….an unpolished thought….I’ll take it.

ACTIVE TUMBLR BRAINSTORM / MINDMAP GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

I’m getting a new phone ( or rather, I’ve having them put something towards a new phone, because fuck me phones are expensive and they aint made of money! )

I’m thinking an HTC DESIRE C which is just about to be released on Orange…but not out yet. Which is annoying.

Has anyone any experience with migrating phones on Android? Is it just as simple as me putting in my gmail address on the new phone and fuck-yeah-we’re-on-and-popping or should I invest in one of theseackupapps?

and it’s Dress The Era You Were Born costume party, which, for me, is the 80s.

1982, specifically.

I REALLY wanted to go as Cameron Frye from Ferris Bueller, but the only RedWings hockey jerseys I could find were fucking extortionate. Like, fucking extortionate.

As a back up plan, I thought Rick Deckard, from Blade Runner. But, I mean, a big fuck off overcoat? That’s silly money as well :(

Anyone any ideas? Or, does anyone have a Red Wings jersey I can borrow? Bonus points if it says HOWE on the back:

I’m open to ideas…..Anyone?